Complexities of a prince\’s life…

I Can Only Imagine lyrics

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

[Chorus]

I can only imagine [x2]

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you

I can only imagine

I really love this song. The first time I heard it, I fell in love with it na. Really nice message. =) That’s why it’s my profile song for the trifecta: multiply, myspace, and friendster. check it out guys!

***

I really wanted this senior project from a certain professor. And then, this morning.. 

Hi Robert,

Sorry for the late response. I had to go to Sapporo for a business trip last week. It has been very hectic.
If you have not committed to other professor, I would like to have you worked on a senior project with me. Please let me know. Thanks.

In Ephesians 2:8, it says, “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God.”

I grew up in a strictly conservative Catholic household. My dad and three of his brothers all went to the seminary when they were in their teens (only one of them went all the way and became a priest). My grandparent’s brother was a Bishop in some rural area I’ve been to, a couple of times when I was a kid.

We would hear mass on Sundays (as well as other important events on the Catholic calendar), pray the Rosary whenever my lola is in the country, go to different churches to recite the Stations of the Cross, and so on. I was part of the Children’s choir one point in my life, underwent confirmation when I was a boy, and dreamt of becoming a priest one day.

I went to Catholic schools in grade school – Sacred Heart School (Parañaque) and Paco Catholic School. I joined retreats, went on novenas, and assisted my uncle whenever he would lead the mass. I was basically doing what a good Catholic boy was supposed to do. I thought that my actions would merit something and that life will be all good.

I was wrong.

My parents separated when I was in fourth grade. My mom, my sister and I had to move from Parañaque to our grandparents’ house in Manila. I left Sacre without saying goodbye to my friends and was bullied in PCS because I was the newbie. Basically my whole world came crashing down.

Despite that, I tried to be strong. Looking at it, there were pros to having my parents separate. In a selfish way, I had two houses, two sets of presents during Christmas and my birthday, two parents who wouldn’t consult each other hence I would have my way at times. But aside from that, I met new friends, gained another parent, learned how it was not to have help in the house, and I knew deep inside that it’s better that my mom and dad separated than if they would have stayed together and fought all the time. I’m grateful to them, actually, that they only fought once in front of my sister and me. It was the same night when we moved out of the house.

Sundays were the hardest. Whenever I would hear mass, I would look at the other families at church: Mom, check, Dad, check, kids, check. They were complete. I would ask God how He’d allow that to happen to my family. I was a good boy. Wasn’t that enough?

I became a little distant. I wanted answers and I didn’t know where and who to ask. I still chose go on with the whole Catholic routine but I became guarded. Waiting for that next precious thing in my life that He would shatter.

But we all know that God moves in mysterious ways. I didn’t know I was in for a roller coaster ride with my journey with Him…

So I got this message earlier today. It made me laugh. Funny how the world seem smaller as you get old.

“may funny kwento ako. may late night shuttle kasi sa [insert company] tapos isang time nagkasabay kami ni [insert name] ([insert company] pala sya). haha. Di ko actually sure na sya un until kinausap nya ako tapos sabi nya “kilala ata kita”. Tapos sabi ko “ah tama, [insert school]“. Tapos sabi nya “di lang yon”. tapos tumawa na kami. Grabe, robert! sa sobrang dami mong naging chicks parang small world na! joke! :p haha. nakakatuwa lang.”

I replied saying “hindi naman ganon kadami.” And that I was just really friendly. Haha! That actually made my day today.

A good friend of mine had a very interesting question, how to translate: “It’s complicated.”

I remember writing before how some people just complicate… Wait, let me just quote what I wrote, “Sometimes life is compliacted as it is. Some people would just make it compliacted for themselves a little bit more. I can’t help but wonder.. What were they thinking?” (Maullon, April 3, 2006).

I dunno, but Shey’s question brought back some memories.

What does “It’s complicated” really mean?

“Let’s talk.”

“Ok. (avoids eye contact, knowing very well where the conversation will lead to)”

“What are we? (pauses) What’s going to happen next?”

“What do you want?”

“You know what I want.”

“My life is complicated.”

“I know that. You told me, time and again. Help me understand your complicated life. Make me understand.”

Silence.

Life is complicated. However, there are times when we find ourselves in a crystal clear situation in one of life’s aspects. And when we do, the gray areas aren’t as pleasant as the black and white anymore. “Maybe’s” lack the luster of “Yes’” and “No’s.” We are in the hysteresis condition and we fail to realize that.

For me, “It’s complicated” is the easy way out, cowardice to a certain extent. What’s important here is that when dealt with such answer (not really an answer, eh?), you go against the current. Stand and be firm. And if need be, walk away and never look back.

*smirks*

It was a sad night for lakers’ fans. Today at work, people don’t even want to talk about it. I guess they really thought it was in the bag. The series is now 2-2 3-1. One more game.

It’s not that I hate them. I just don’t like KB.

***

I screamed “Celtics won!!” while driving by Nelson’s old church last night. Sorry, but I had to rub it in. =P Bad rob..

just wanted to check out how this would turn out.

So I’ve got 2 more finals tom. I feel so unprepared. Bummer. Pray for me y’all. Thanks!!

Need to get some sleep. Now! Au revoir!

NOT! well, not yet. I still have two more days of final exams. Waaaa! Just finished my ECE finals a couple of hours ago. It was nasty (insert Brit accent). I really don’t think I’ll ever need that in my career, no?

Anyway, friends, I’ll be in Manila this July 15!! Yay-yeah!! Can’t wait to see you guys! There you goRai, countdown na. =)

So, what do you want (*coughs*reasonable/affordable*coughs*) from LA? O, don’t be shy.. Haha!

Ernest Hemingway once wrote, “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places.”

Some of you might be wondering what it is I’ve been writing about with regards to the “Broken Series.” I originally wanted to write about what has happened in the past but I figured that life goes on, chapter after another. So it shall be a work in progress. (I’ll put a note that says, “[Title] – Broken Series” so you can differentiate from a random or off-topic post.)

The Broken Series is a story of a young man’s journey through life. It is a compilation of recent literary and free writing works of the author. Although some stories may be distinct from the others, it revolves upon what it means to be broken, how he has surpassed all of it, and how he yearns to be broken yet again. It is about his walk with God, his discoveries about life and love, and the people the matter to him the most.

Feel free to join me in this process for each of you have been (and will be) a part of me through all of it. As cheesy as this might sound, you are all my inspiration.

The day I lost you was the hardest day of my life.

I’m not really sure if you loved me or you were just barely getting there (although I must admit, I felt it), but I was yours. I was broken, lost like a stranger in a sea of people not knowing where to go or to turn to. Amidst all of these I sought refuge in my poetry, blindly denying the fact of what my heart was telling me. And I chose the easy route.

But we all know that small cracks lead to bigger ones in time. It was only a matter of seasons before I realized how broken I was. And it was the most beautiful sight in the world. Trust me.

Someone was holding my hand as I cried heavily. Like a parent holding a newborn child, he held me delicately, whispering that things will be ok. It was finally time for acceptance, for forgiveness, for moving on, but most importantly, for love…

If loving you means going through the whole process over and over again, I wouldn’t mind all the pain and the hurt. You’re worth every single bit of sacrifice and love that my whole being has to offer.

to be continued…